But they said…… 
If someone says or does something that is offensive, it is up to us, as individuals, how we respond and if we choose to be offended. It is a choice! Most of the time the person who is saying or doing something offensive, their words or actions are a reflection of their own heart and character, not yours. You just happen to be the outlet of their hurts or frustrations at the present time. Your heart and character are reflected in your response to a potential offense. There is a quote that says: “you can tell the size of a person by what it takes to make them mad.”
Assigning motives
If we are honest, it is hard to know our own motives for doing things a lot of the time. We have to be constantly searching and making sure our motives and intentions are right as we operate through life. If it so hard to understand ourselves, how can we possibly assign motives to others we sometimes don’t even know? Someone cuts us off in traffic and we automatically think they meant to do it, when in reality, they were adjusting their seat belt and accidentally swerved. Or someone makes a comment that is totally neutral, but because of the way we hear it based on emotion or context, we think they are assaulting our character. The point with this is to be very careful to jump the gun and assign motives to others right away. This is a main root in the start of conflict and people being offended. More often than not, people are not out to get you.
Don’t be childish 
Stephen Covey says that “between stimulus and response, we have a choice.” It doesn’t matter what happens to us, but how we choose to respond and the story we tell ourselves about the event that will make all the difference. A wise pastor said to take the higher road, don’t play the childish pride game of reacting to an offense with one of your own. Nobody ever wins. When a potentially offensive situation comes up, how much better would the relationships in our life be, if we were able to stop and apply this principle with the people we love and those we interact with each day? I bet it would make a difference.
Practical applications 
Here are a few practical steps we can follow as situations arise that require us to act with the proper perspective.
1. Stop and ask this question: is this worth dying over? If not, then just let it pass and hold your tongue.
2. Seek first to understand where the person is coming from and why they are behaving the way they are before you react.
3. Keep your tone low and don’t raise your voice. Raising your voice will only heighten the situation and create more stress.
4. Pray silently for the person! Realize that they are probably going through something and could use some prayer.
5. Ask the other person strait up if you did something that offended them or made them upset? If so, then be quick to apologize to the person by letting them know that you did not mean for that to happen and it was not your intention to offend them. Be the bigger person. The person with the higher emotional intelligence is usually the first to apologize. Trust me, this can be hard, but it works like magic when done sincerely.
6. Just realize that whatever behavior someone is exhibiting to you is most likely an emotional response to something that is happening to them personally. Always remember this and it will give you the mindset to know that you are not really the target, just the convenient object for venting their frustrations.
I hope this helps. I have personally applied these principles and they have made a HUGE difference in my relationships and interactions with others. I have learned all of this from the materials provided by my company, LIFE Leadership.
God Bless,
Adam
Life, Lessons and Leadership 